Tokyo Police Club- Favourite Food
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charitytriumphsagain-deactivate asked:
You know, I always go around saying bananas.
I don't even like bananas.
My mother constantly has to scarf them down my throat. D:
one of my old friends used to practicing her kissing using bananas, no wait she used them for something else……………..
charitytriumphsagain-deactivate asked:
You know, I always go around saying bananas.
I don't even like bananas.
My mother constantly has to scarf them down my throat. D:
one of my old friends used to practicing her kissing using bananas, no wait she used them for something else……………..
A quick run-down should you ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.
1. Don’t have sex.
- Seriously
- Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
- I don’t care how good he says his weed is
- he is cuckoo bananas
- and he wants you dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
- There are six words you should YouTube, should you get the chance
- “Kevin Bacon in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
- If the killer can’t see you or hear you WHY WOULD YOU MOVE?
- Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.
5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause you never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.
- Someone will always be barefoot
- Or in heels
- Or just plain clumsy
- And will sprain their ankles
- And die.
6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.
- Don’t walk around looking for people
7. Don’t be a hero.
- Unless your name is Harry Fucking Potter, you will die.
- Hell, maybe even then.
- I mean.
8. If you hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.
- The killer is there.
- Also your dog is dead.
9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.
- The last thing you need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.
10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.
- Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck
11. Don’t go into the basement.
- They are creepy enough without you dying in one.
12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct questions about either the history of the home or the previous tenants, DO NOT MOVE IN.
- At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.
13. Turn off the television (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.
- It is obviously your wisest choice.
14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.
- Move very very far away
- Because there’s blood on your walls.
- Blood.
- Your
- Walls
- Are
- Bleeding.
15. Don’t act like a detective.
- Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack you in a closet.
16. Google the location you’ll be vacationing at.
- If more than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, you know not to go there.
- Issue. Solved.
17. Don’t get drunk. Or come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.
- Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.
18. If you see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your friends playing a trick on you to scare you.
- It is the killer.
- They will kill you.
19. Don’t take a shower.
- ONLY APPLIES IF:
- It’s past midnight at the campground you and your sorority sisters are staying at or
- The lock to the door doesn’t work and you hear creepy piano music.
20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.
- Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he.
oh my god
if we are in a relationship your food is my food and my food is my food.
my day with nick santino:
9 am: I wake up to my alarm. Nick and i lay in bed and listen to millionaires. i like money, bling bling bling! We sing along. He surprises me with breakfast in bed; blueberry pancakes. The middles are nice and gooey, just how i like them. He freshly squeezes some orange juice. He’s a good squeezer.
10 am: We take a shower. He uses garnier fructis silk & shine. The loofah is nice and sudsy. I drop the soap. Oops! ;)
12 pm: We get out of the shower. The water started getting cold, and his fingers were getting pruny. We pick out each other’s outfits. I pick his white vneck, a vest, and his orange vans. He picks my purple tri blend vneck and my short shorts that all time low signed.
12:30 pm: We go out to lunch, chinese food. I get soy sauce on my face, and he leans across the table to playfully lick it off. “You’re so clumsy!” he exclaims, with a wink and a titter. The fortune cookies arrive. Mine says “Today is the best day of your life.” His says “Yours too.”
1:30 pm: He surprises me with a tattoo appointment. We get each others names tattooed on our necks. The tattoo looks like a snake, with it’s tongue out. Nick sheds a few tears, but i suck it up and take it like a man. He’s so cute when he cries.
3 pm: We go paddle boating on a lake, it is my idea. While playing around, the boat tips and we fall in. As we emerge from the water, we laugh, lock eyes, and share a passionate kiss that lasts roughly 12 minutes. It would have been 13 minutes, if we hadn’t been rudely interrupted by a jellyfish stinging nicks upper right thigh. We hide behind some bushes, and I nobly volunteer to urinate on it. We get quite a laugh out of this; it’s a real hoot. We are instantly closer.
3:42 pm: We go back home to change into clean, dry, nice clothes. He wears a button up shirt with a different vest. I wear my teal tri blend dress. He knows i love tri blend. He loves the way tri blend hugs my curves.
4:30 pm: We sit in the park, and nick applies my lip gloss. It’s cover girl crystal wet slicks; he likes them wet. We feed each other peanuts. I used to be allergic, but i’m not anymore. :) Some bits fall down my tri blend dress, and nick removes them with his teeth. Good thing - they were getting itchy! Some younger girls walk by and exclaim “ewww!” They don’t understand our bond(age).
5:30 pm: Walking down the street, we pass the gosselin family! All 10 of them. Jon and Kate plus 8 is my favorite show; nicks too. This gets us talking about the future. We agree to have one set of twins, and a little girl. The twins will be named Trace and Dawson. The little girl will be named Dakota. This gets us SOOO excited for our future together.
6 pm: We have dinner reservations at our favorite restaurant, Olive Garden. We drink wine - I don’t get carded. Score! We were nervous about me getting carded, but i didn’t. Score! After we eat (the endless soup, salad, and breadsticks was a little filling, so we just shared an order of ravioli) he orders chocolate cake to share for dessert. I notice him and the waiter exchange a knowing glance - but i think nothing of it. He does this often.
7 pm: The waiter arrives with our cake to share. I head face-first for the cake, because i love chocolate cake. Nick ties my hair back for me, so that i can go face-first for the cake. Whilst nom-ing, I feel something hit against my braces. I spit it out into nicks lap, and notice that it is extremely lustrous - much like my love for Nicholas *middle name* Santino. (I should look that up…) It is a breath takingly beautiful ring with our names and the date of my first arttm show engraved into the shiny silver surface. (6/26/09) It is not an engagement ring, but a promise ring. That is enough for me. I shed a tear, and he wipes them away with his lips.
8 pm: We return to the apartment. I fumble with the keys as he kisses my neck, carefully avoiding my fresh tattoo. It is still sore. We get into the living room and find Halvo sitting on the couch watching Toddlers and Tiaras. Huff, huff. This is awkward, seeing as nick and i are very aroused by our new promise. We control ourselves long enough to tell Halvo about our day. By the time I even get to the part about the jelly fish, he has drifted asleep. Score! Nick and I were worried that he would interfere with our plans. But he fell asleep! Score!
8:32 pm: Finally alone, we bust out the twister board, and the goods. ;) We put our own twist on the game twister. Halvo wakes up, puts his finger on his nose and says “I call spinner! Huff!” Nick and i are too into each other to care, and let him spin for us. Halvo, however, realizes we need privacy and goes back to watching 18 kids and counting. He loves TLC, as do I. His favorite show is the little couple. Their love reminds him of nick and i, excpet we’re not little people.
12 am: Exhausted. We fall asleep spooning. I ask if i can be the big spoon. He complies willingly - he’s always the big spoon. But tonight i am the big spoon; An idea to which he complied willingly. We sleep for 9 hours exactly, and awake to the millionaires to repeat our daily routine. I hope i don’t drop the soap next time! Or do i…. ;)OH MY GOD GIRL, sorry but i can’t help loling at this. that sure is one hell of a day! it makes me think of those (pretty creepy ngl) fanfics about bands that people post on quizilla or something but good on you for spending time to send that in haha!
k guys, you can keep sending in your days with nick BUT LET’S send in other stuff too, yeah? (:
LOL FOREVER
infinite lulz
5:00: oh boy Chinese food
5:05: I ate way too much Chinese food
5:10: oh boy leftover Chinese food
you ever notice a lot of stuff is considered poor and gross unless its upper middle class (white) people doing it
food trucks in the 90s were the realm of taco trucks and fairground food and were always considered unhygienic and nasty until all these rich city kids started opening food trucks and now they’re “trendy” and “innovative”
riding your bike to work is only considered geofriendly if you can also afford to drive a car but don’t want to, then you’re saving the earth, everyone else isn’t somehow??
recycling old cheap stuff to be used as furniture and wearing really old clothing is a sign of poverty unless you’re doing it a certain way or wearing a certain kind of old clothing
double standards are gross and you should expose them in your life as much as possible
Bikini Bottom has a universal basic income
Both Squidward and Spongebob can afford their own two-story houses with enough money left over for things like snail food and art supplies, they are both fast food workers with a boss that is shown on several occasions to pay them as little as possible
Furthermore, characters like Plankton can afford his own restaurant, machines, and computer despite not selling a single burger, Patrick similarly has his own place and lifestyle while rarely shown to actually work
In this essay we will examine the idea of a universal basic income that exists in the SpongeBob universe that provides
A reminder that you can be denied food stamps and other government assistance when you’re a felon. So let’s review this: as a felon you are unable to live in most homes and apartments. As a felon most employers will not hire you. As a felon, you don’t deserve food, low cost medical coverage, or money to help you get your life together.
You were making better money doing what made you a felon and if you have to go back to that I don’t even blame you.
And the government wonders why the amercian prison system is a never ending cycle.
Actually, the government doesn’t wonder. Society does. The government knows that the prison system is designed to create lifelong criminals to fulfill the demand for prisoners, which was created by corporations that profit from prison labor.
Which was a deliberate effort by the United States after the passage of the 13th Amendment, to reenslave Black people to the point where there’s more Black Men in prison than were enslaved in 1850 - 10 years before the Civil War.
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